


You're a failure played in stereo

by Anonymous



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Number Five | The Boy, Elliott wants to bang five hes just in denial, Five is just horny in this fic idk what else to tell you, Klaus knows whats up, M/M, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, five is also kinda slutty but ehh, no romance whatsoever just horny, they fuck in the couch i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 09:54:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26970067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Five is going through puberty again, for the third time now. Hes horny and Elliott reluctantly helps himhijinks ensue
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Elliott Gussman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 90
Collections: Anonymous





	You're a failure played in stereo

**Author's Note:**

> idk what this is i made this while i was drunk out of my mind  
> hope you all like i guess lmao

Five never took any breaks from anything, the closest thing to one was when he got that Shrapnel wound. And he practically forced himself to withstand it until he passed out from blood loss, so maybe it couldn't be considered a break.

But this time, with much consideration, Five finally decided to "rest" for a few hours. Elliott's bed was a no go, it reeked of sweat and it smelled like shit, no way was he going inside there. So his only choices were the couches or the kitchen table, Five chose the couches.

One of the very few reasons on why he even decided to take a "break" was because of his current state as if now, and by that he meant the stupidly irritating prepubescent body reeking of hormones, and that meant that he was subjected to one of its many tortures.

As much as he tried to keep his cool, sometimes his body couldn't take it. Simple touches like a pat on the back from Klaus or a hug from Diego made him feel extremely _hot_ down below, Five was painfully sensitive at times. And it didn't help that most of his siblings are pretty touchy feely, the sensitivity actually hindered normal activities for him, if you can consider killing the board of commission an activity.

So his plan was, get off for a bit and then all the pent up hormones will go away temporarily. He knows better than to think that this one session will end those boiling hormones in his body, he's smarter than that.

No one was home for some reason, even Elliott, so it relieved him that he had the place all to himself. No one was there to bother him.

No one home, check.

Have the clock set for two hours, check.

Lock every door that anyone could enter through, _check_.

Or so he thought, Five was getting too impatient to even think about it. 

He didn't hesitate to quickly take off his blazer, shorts, and anything else that was making his body feel hot. Though he made sure to keep his shorts close and shirt just slightly unbuttoned, just in case someone miraculously came in unannounced.

He froze for a second, looked around and looked down at his twitching cock. It was already half hard and he hasn't even touched himself yet, this body sucked. Slowly and gently, he took hold of his dick. Just that one singular touch alone made him feel electric, his breathing was becoming hitched, Five slowly started stroking it up and down. Jesus why the hell did it hurt so much?

"A-ah...Hah." 

He sped up the pace, it ached a lot. So his big guess was his body craved for more, and give it more he did. Did Elliott have lube here somewhere? He was sure the guy had some, it was expected of a lonely divorced man in his thirties, or was he in his forties? Five didn't really care.

He momentarily stopped and got up to go to one of Elliott's drawers, nothing, nothing, nothing, Bingo! Five found a small bottle of Lubricant at the very last drawer. He quickly took it and sped back to the couch, finally he was ready now. 

Five went back to pumping down his cock as fast as he possibly could and took a bit of lube with his free hand and spread them around his fingers, Five was sure that this body wasn't used to penetration, it might sting but it might as well be worth it, he couldn't back out anymore.

He slid in one of his fingers inside, slowly but surely it finally went in all the way. That didn't hurt as much, his thrusting at first was agonizingly slow, but as each thrust went on the speed increased. "Fuck, ugh.." He went on and slid another finger in, and another, and another, the pain was there but it was blinded by how good it felt for him. When did he Jack off like this again? He couldn't remember, his mind was a little too scrambled right now to think properly. 

Five thought about the possibility of someone walking in right now, what would they do when they witnessed this? He was completely visible from the door, legs spread apart and his moaning was pretty audible. He probably would say that he was asking for it, and somewhere deep inside the back of his mind, he was. that morbid curiosity of his was granted as the door opened up and in came Elliott himself.

wait didn't he lock the door? 

Shit. He forgot to do it didn't he?

Elliott didn't seem to notice him at first, he was looking for something inside the grocery bag that he was holding. Now, Five could absolutely just teleport away to a different area but considering that as of right now, half of his energy is being used, he couldn't. 

Once Elliott looked in front of him he froze, awkward.

"Oh, I'm-I-I think I'm interrupting something. My bad, uh. I'll just- get out of here for a bit. Sorry-" 

He was fidgety, avoided eye contact, and settled his grocery down to the level of his pants. That got him a little curious, was he overthinking this, maybe. But it was worth a shot, as much as his fingers pleasured him, he still needed more.

"Wait."

Elliott was close to leaving but stopped, he still refused to look at him.

"Help me with this, Fuck me."

"W-wait what? No! I can't do that to you-you're like thirteen!"

He frowned "Physically, Elliot. I'm 58, didn't I tell you that already or are you too stupid to remember? No guilty conscience for you." 

Five got up and walked towards him, why won't he just say yes already? It was easy to tell that he wanted to say yes, maybe he was trying to deny it.

"No, that's still wrong. I can't do that with you, you're a m--" Fives patience was being tested here, he grabbed the hem of Elliott's shirt and pulled him close, eye to eye. He felt Elliott's shaky breaths above him.

"If you keep on protesting with that little pea-brain of yours I'm going to bash your head into that wall." And after that, he stopped talking and looked back at him and breathed out a small 'alright'.

"Good, now follow me."

Out of everyone he could've fucked it _had_ to be Elliott, the man was a serious piece of work. "Are you just gonna stand there or are you going to fuck me?" That seemed to get his attention as he slowly started undressing.

"Wait, wait no. Keep them on, I want to do something first."

"Okay so should I--uh sit down with you or--"

Five takes a hold of Elliott's pants and pulls the zipper down, he was already hard through the fabric, how convenient for him. Five rubs it a little bit earning soft gasps from the man, after a bit he decided to pull the underwear off. 

What he didn't expect was how _big_ Elliott was. Well maybe Luther's was larger but still, quite surprising. In a good way actually, he was definitely gonna have fun with this. Five started with giving his dick a few licks and then continued on sucking the tip gently, he felt a hand place itself onto his head. "Are you liking this?" 

Elliott nodded, that was enough confirmation for him to continue. He slowly slid his mouth inside his cock, he only managed to get a portion of it in his mouth but that was good enough. Five's pace was already pretty fast, he had prior experience on this so it wasn't a problem for him at all, he felt Elliott thrust into his mouth slowly. It made his insides feel so hot again, so he took one of his free hands and slid it back inside him, fuck it was so good.

Five felt Elliott flinch, was he gonna come now? He pulled away and wiped his face, he didn't need to tell the man what to do as he swiftly sat down at the couch, Five proceeded to straddle him. "Don't be gentle, I don't care." The man took a firm grip on his hips, "alright.." He slowly set himself down onto his cock, it hurt like hell. "F-fuck ah, Elliott.." he got him all the way inside.

"feels good… Move." 

Five set his head on Elliott's shoulder and slowly set himself up and then back down, Elliott's thrusting was a little slow and shallow. "Faster." He did what he was told, he went from being gentle and slow to rough and fast in a flash. Five's mind was getting mixed up, he felt so ecstatic, god he needed this so much. "Nnnh, Elli--ah!" What he least expected once again was Elliott pinning him down the couch "Wha--" the man pounded inside him so hard- his prostate felt so violated, it was making him see stars. "S-sorry, I can't help myself." Five couldn't even blurt out a coherent sentence just some sputtered moans and gasps.

'I'll definitely fuck him again next time.' He thought, Five was always dominant during sex, even when he isn't topping. But now he was under Elliott's fingers, getting railed by someone with no mercy never made him feel so good, he loved it. Five grabbed Elliott by his hair and kissed him, or the more appropriate word, tonguefucked him. He didn't know if it was the hormones or just him but his body felt so hot, the heat made his dick twitch slightly, maybe he was gonna come soon? Most likely so, His tongue against the man was the most arousing thing he could ever think of right now. 

They both pulled away to get some air and Elliott moved down to his neck, sucking only his soft pale skin. "Aah-- wait, no, that's gonna show--" He bit into his neck and hit his prostate again at the same time and it had him moan out like a whore, Fuck, fuck, fuck, he was almost going to cum. "I-I think I'm-- Elliott I'm gonna--" Five was cut off by a kiss again, it made him melt instantly. "Me too...Uh-- is it okay if i, uh.." he smiled, despite being so rough with him he's still pretty timid, how cute.

"Cum inside me, do whatever you want."

And with that Five was sure he wasn't holding back anymore as Elliott took both of his hands to his throat and choked him, it earned a loud gasp from Five and he held both of his hands on his arms with an iron grip. "Hah-- Shit… This feels great." The pace was insane, it was like Elliott had gave into instincts and just had the objective of fucking Five until he was satisfied, it was like he was being used as nothing more than a fleshlight, the mere thought of that made him squirm under the man. 

It took Elliott a few more thrusts to have Five scream out his name and cum on his stomach, it was a pretty sight, the hard-headed arrogant Five Hargreeves was under him sobbing and drooling begging him for more, he felt lucky that he was one of the very few ones to witness this contrast in his personality. After a while of mercilessly fucking into Five he finally managed to cum, Elliott groaned and took some more slow thrusts and slipped out of Five. 

He took a moment to enjoy the view that he had, cum all over Five's cute little ass and stomach, face flushed and his eyes rolled upwards whilst he was having a moment of blissful aftermath. Elliott sat on the couch for a while and took a few breaths, He honestly forgot how exhausting sex was, but it was enjoyable in the long run. Once he opened his eyes again Five was nowhere to be seen "Do you have any tissues here?" He heard him say out from the kitchen, oh. "It's in the third cabinet on the top." 

Five blinked back and tossed him some tissues "Do you have an extra shirt? This one is… Dirty, and the other one I have is drenched in blood. I don't have the time to do laundry, I still haven't forgotten about the apocalypse. " He paused for a bit and pointed to his room "You can find some in there, They're in any drawer, choose your pick." And again, Five blinked away for a few minutes before coming back in new clothes and a cup of coffee. "Clean your room next time for fucks sake, it smells like ass." "Sorry, some _uninvited guests_ decided to stay there." He saw Five physically cringe and make a disgusted look

"Diego and his girlfriend I presume?

"Yep."

He was wearing a shirt that way too large for him and some boxers, he saw that his legs were still dripping with cum but he didn't ask. Five sat right in front of him and crossed his legs "So do you want to do this again or do you want this to stay as just a one time thing?" He said as he sipped his coffee "I… Don't really mind doing this more, but, It's still a little strange." Elliott noticed Five smirking at him "You meet seven people from the future with superpowers and this is what you consider strange? This is far from that." He said giggling a little bit, how out of character, is he like this after sex? Maybe so.

Five got up and sat on his lap with his hands around his neck, he whispered into his ear seductively, Elliott was pretty sure he was gonna get hard again just from this alone.

"How about we go for a quick second round, I want you to mess me up again. But be fast with it, don't want anyone of my siblings to get jealous." 

As Klaus came in the building he noticed him and Elliott having a conversation, his brother looked like he was in a strangely good mood. Five was wearing an unusual set of clothes, why wasn't he wearing the academy uniform? That was weird. "Hiya brother of mine, Elliott. How're you guys doing?" They both froze a bit "We're doing well thanks." _"We?"_ He gave Klaus a deadpan look "Do you have a problem with that?" He noticed that Klaus gave him a smug grin "Nope, it's just nice to see my lil bro make friends!" 

He received no response, "Why aren't you wearing the usual outfit? Wanted to try new things?" The boy quietly sipped his coffee "I… Dirtied my last pair, Elliott was nice enough to lend me some clothes for the time being."

Five wasn't sure if Klaus already caught on onto them or didn't, he's unpredictable like that. "Well it's good that you both are getting along! Two old men just hanging around like good pals!" 

"Wait, I'm not even that old.."

Five looked towards Elliott with a cat-like smirk.

"Yeah, I guess so."


End file.
